The
moment people migrate another country several conflicts in relation to differences
among people cultures and ways of life emerge. In most cases unemployment, discrimination and
social exclusion are the main cause that lead these people to suffer profound depression,
stress and sadness. Thus immigrants
become vulnerable and completely exposed to be treated in a bad way as if they
were not human equals because of not belonging to the culture of the country
they arrived. Therefore, access to adequate health care, education, public
services, and so on in the abroad country are completely restricted. As a matter of fact, in most cases immigration
results in negative traumatic experiences that generate feelings of anxiety and
abandonment, which are indeed a great challenge.
In my opinion, there are a few comments to point at your paragraph. First, I think that your verbs should all be in the present tense ( arrived) Secondly, I would use foreign country instead of abroad country.The rest of the paragraph is good.Your Topic sentence is restated in the conclusion sentence.
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